We are all different. We hear this all the time. And it is true. But some people experience and live life in a way that is truly different — in how they feel, imagine, process, and hold their values. Their way of living may seem unusual to others who follow the usual rules. This is where the clash happens. Closed-mindedness rejects what it does not understand. Openness allows curiosity, connection, and humanity.

We all daydream. At any age, it can offer a brief escape from routine, or a way to reconnect with a part of ourselves we have longed for. But what happens when daydreaming begins to take up hours of the day, pulling you so deeply into imagined worlds that real life starts to feel distant or secondary?

This is where the term maladaptive comes in.

We are who we are, living our lives, our reality. Yet sometimes we drift away into daydreams and become someone else, living a different life. At first, this world can feel comforting. It is warm, safe, almost cinematic — there are stories, dialogues, emotions, almost like a film playing in the background. Over time, it can become the place where life actually happens, while reality feels distant.

Maladaptive Daydreaming, first described by Professor Eli Somer in 2002, has been linked to traits often seen across the neurodiversity spectrum, such as vivid imagination, emotional intensity, and dissociative coping. It reflects the mind's capacity to create worlds that soothe, express, protect, or compensate when reality feels overwhelming.

Often it develops as a response to emotional pain or trauma. The mind creates a parallel inner world where you are the main character, where you feel liked, loved, safe, and valued. While MDD is not officially categorised as part of neurodiversity, research suggests it may sit alongside it, representing a different way the brain processes emotion, creativity, and self-regulation.

A Metaphor

Imagine daydreaming as a blanket. At first, it feels warm, safe, comforting. But if you never take it off, it becomes too heavy, restricting movement, agency, and presence. What once offered relief can slowly become a barrier to living fully.

The dreams do not stop. Life continues. But you begin to live somewhere in between — a world apart.

Have you ever experienced this, or know someone who has? Coaching offers a gentle space to explore, find clarity, and reconnect. The first conversation is always free.

Next in the series: Part 4 — Upward Bullying: The Ghost Disease